Fallout

And this is how it should end. I think this is sort of fit as the closing act for any activity or plan ever to be set in motion. It seems only fitting for something to return to what it was before it began.

As the world twirls around its axis most things go forwards until all sense is lost of their path. No one stands to chart where they once were until that place is too far to reach back, even in memory. Especially in memory, for what can be more fragile than a simple picture of what was?

When one can be free of no barrier except complete and inescapable loss in his path to completely see the past in a different light memory is not that reliable anymore. A smile becomes as beautiful as a sunset, an great afternoon becomes heaven on earth and a kiss always carries its taste, still strong and sweeter than truth. And yet, in the end, all this is blown away like the smoke of cigarettes.

And such is a fallout of the passing of time. Some things are changed so the memory is sweeter and some things are left behind so they won't be able to hurt. In the end friendships fall or grow, moments are shared or forgotten and dreams fall in the shadows till they wake again, nothing more but a distant reflection in the rear view mirror.

It is in the dust that steps endure, in the holes and excavation sites that blood and tears and sweat is poured. It all seems to be a trickle, but even he greatest dam can't hold back the trickle, can't stop it from spreading. In the dust of the fallout we find what made it worth while, what makes a part of us cry out in anger and desperation at the sight of a broken world.

What seems as a curse can sometimes serve as a blessing, likewise a blessing may be a curse. If things go out with a bang they are forever remembered cause the moment in which they were erased is seen as the moment where it was all stolen from our grasp. Yet if things are left to go in peace, to pass away under the cover of comfortable silence, it is so much more different.

If something is left to simply shrivel away in solitude without a fight to give it comfort and support, without trying to heal it, then it is not fate nor those around us that cheat us out of it. When we will look back and try to see the cause of our loss the fallout will be there, allowing us to see shadows that can be turned into rabbits, ducks and scapegoats. But shadows offer no satisfaction to a soul on a quest, it is clarity that's desired and with it comes the knowledge that the only one to blame is yourself.

yet fighting can be also a loss. In a quest to find something or to guard it one can push too far. Once a bond is broken it is hard to rebuild it regardless if it only tied down different lands, people or dreams. When the form of anything that exists is broken, then the emotions that went in its making are also shattered and they are far harder to repair.

Simply put, if you let things pass in silence they will be regretted, but only when it's too late to do anything about it. If you fight, you may cause more pain than you realize at first. Still, if the wind strikes and brings the dust with it then you can let is settle and once it has passed you can brush it aside and breath in the earth scented air while looking at what lied beneath.

Sometimes you don't have to win, nor do you have to lose. Finding out how to notice these moments takes time and also friends, someone who'll listen when all the dumbest ideas you ever had hit you in the back of your head. There are moments when patience and acceptance is all that stands between fallout and being there, a bit dusty, yet cheerful.

Listen, smile, share and breathe. Life's simpler that way. Or maybe harder than ever.

See ya!